Sunday Randomness #290 : Inconsistencies Emerge

(The picture of Jack sunning himself by peaches from the farmer's market and Daisy's little clay pumpkin to the left of the peaches is yet another inconsistency.)

Mica: "How will I know when the hamburger is thawed?"
Hedgehog: "When it's no longer frozen."
Mica: "How will I know when that is?"

Bribery does work.  I bribed Mica by letting her use my library card in exchange for her participation in a book club.

Mica wondering where all the drinking glasses had gone and Daisy responding: "They're probably all in the dishwasher.  Look, it says clean."  (They only figured that out because I put a note on the dishwasher thinking (foolishly) that someone (other than me) would actually empty it.)

Hedgehog tried to save a spider in the tub by catching it in a cup but it crawled back into the overflow and when she plunged the tub to get it back out it landed on the side of the tub and was dead from all the trauma of trying to save it.  "I tried really hard to save its little life but it wasn't meant to be."

Daisy in the senior year in high school: "There are no big trends happening at school right now so it's really sad because I can't make fun of them or decide to join them."

Hedgehog on more little creatures: "We must have hundreds of worms and I feel so bad that I'm killing some of them."  She had to remove some sod to plant some herbs in its place and unintentionally was digging up some of the worms.

We saw a truck filled with bags of onions that was pulled over by the police on a family vacation.  Mica remarked: "That's a real tearjerker."

Daisy on a summer day: "Why are there so many people out today?"  Me: "Because it's cooled down and it's a nice day."  Daisy: "Well, why are they out having fun and enjoying life?"

Sunday Randomness #203: Deeds of inconsistencies

* Refrigerated popular juice combo drink with carrot, orange, lemon, and beet.  Mica: "The fruit juices did not make up for the pure horror of the beet juice."

*Hedgehog added to the grocery list around Christmas time:
 -cough syrup
-Santa costume for Jack
-Elf costume for Jack
-plain apple juice
-olive oil

(Here's a throwback to Pirate Jack) 

*"I don't need more negativity in my life." (Mica after I reminded her she had books due the next day.)

*Daisy was lamenting back in 9th grade that she didn't have friends in her lunchtime period.  Hedgehog advised: "You should grab some 7th graders.  They would worship you and be your little padawans."

*Jack was sitting opposite to Hedgehog on the large 4' x 6' area rug in the room.  She slowly started moving the carpet.  He looked confused because the floor was moving but he stayed on the carpet.  I started quietly giggling at his continued confused expressions as she moved the carpet this way and that with him balancing on top.  

Then she started singing "I can show you the world" from Aladdin and I burst out laughing.  Jack startled, jumped off, and immediately turned around, attacking the carpet edge. Hedgehog kept moving the carpet and he kept attacking it. Hedgehog commented he had found the biggest toy yet in the house.  Good call, Hedgehog, good call on the song choice of "A Whole New World" for Jack's magic carpet ride. 

*Mica brought home seafood leftovers one day and I asked her to remember to eat her mussels.  She replied, "No, I prefer to keep them intact, thank you"  referring to her muscles instead of mussels.

* Words of internet knowledge from the young: Daisy informed me that the no more tears claim on a popular baby shampoo referred not to no more crying tears in your eyes but rather to tears in your hair like split ends.  It prevented split end tears not crying tears. We did get it sorted out thanks to J&J.   https://www.johnsonsprofessional.com/johnsons-baby/no-more-tears

It was easier finding source material proving that the Monkees did the song I'm a Believer in 1966 and that Smash Mouth did the cover in 2001.  She kept insisting Smash Mouth did the song first and the Monkees must have gotten it from them.  When I pointed out I heard the song when I was young, she was confused but stuck with her group.    I tried to get her to tell me when Smash Mouth came out with the song and she just replied it was from the movie "Shrek", which came out ages ago.

I was laughing so hard it was difficult to find the video to show her the version of the song that I grew up hearing.   

Thanks to PNGMart for the Shrek graphic.and to to youtube for the Monkees video and to Johnson and Johnson for the shampoo info.

Sunday Randomness #344 : Inconsistencies Pop Up Again!

* I bought a 32 pack of Hostess twinkies and cupcakes from Costco-something I buy every few years or so.  By day 2 there were only 9 of the 16 cupcakes left.  I had eaten 1, Daisy replied "What cupcakes?",  Mica said "I may have eaten 2...maybe 3.  There's still the twinkies left!"  About 10 minutes later Hedgehog comes upstairs and upon questioning her she responses with the following: "I had 2, maybe 3 and then blurts out, but there are the twinkies!"  With almost identical answers you'd think they were sisters.  So what's the obsession with the cupcakes versus the untouched twinkies?!?

*Me to Hedgehog when I had bought a large piece of fresh ginger: "The way you (hedgehog) are sniffing that raw ginger is just indecent!"

*Mica: "I stayed home from FHE (Family Home Evening with her singles ward) to read about coffee!"  (Coffee is discouraged in LDS teachings. Her reading was for a plant class.)

*Daisy, looking very proud of herself, "I had extra energy so I decided to brush my hair!" And then in true movie star style she pretended she was fluffing imaginary curls in her hair.

-Hedgehog about a former math teacher's presentation of the lesson material: "The teacher would turn off the lights for the presentation and she had a soft, soothing voice.  I usually got put in the back of the classroom so it was quite the struggle (to stay awake!).

-Mica: "Answering physics questions online is like slots.  You're like, 'let it be the right one...come on..., come on..., Yes! when it's the right answer and grumbling when it's not and you have to try again."

*Comments from Hedgehog from a past class about herself and another ginger student and the teacher using examples to make points about slavery: "Myself and the other ginger would be the slaves because we would stick out in a crowd.  If we had a baby it's hair would be the perfect color.  She (the teacher) would take the children with that perfect ginger hair color (for slavery)."

*Daisy commenting after swimming a few laps with me: "I have insect legs." "What?!?"  "I have insect legs-you know, they are thin and stick-like, insect legs!"

-Mica upon pressure from a religious activity to encourage more dating: "For the dating box I could just say I'm already in a relationship.  I just wouldn't say with what or whom."  She continued with this statement: "Right now I want to be in a relationship with more sleep."

*Daisy upon getting a Herbst appliance as part of her braces treatment: "It's like the chamber of secrets in here with all the twists and turns and corners." http://www.orthocenters.org/appliances.php

(DISCLAIMER: Many of these instances happened in the past-for example, Daisy brushes her hair now with daily regularity and the teacher events are definitely in the past.  But some things are likely not to change.  Hedgehog would probably still be happy sniffing ginger.  I sometimes wonder if she buys exotic spices and teas just because she likes the scents. And answering homework questions online is still a dicey business sometimes.)

Sunday Randomness #158 : Why are there inconsistencies in life?

Signs that Daisy is spending just a little too much time indoors:

Mom: Do you want to go to Savers?

D: No, I don't like Savers.  I don't like shopping.  I don't like the outdoors....what is the outdoors?  I don't like it.

Religion and drugs:
Once when H was sick, I found M kneeling by her bedside.  I remarked:
"Mica, you don't need to pray over Hedgehog.  She's not that sick and we don't believe in last rites."
(I got laughter from both of them.)

When Hedgehog returned from a trip I asked for her antibiotics and passport that she had packed.
Mica interrupted and said to Hedgehog: " So basically Mom wants your drugs and your ID."

Hedgehog and her relationship with the pets:

H: We tease the kitty.

Mom: We tease the kitty and we tease each other.

H: And we tease the guinea pig.  At least I do.

Mica piping in: How do you tease the guinea pig?

H: I scare her but in the kindest way.  I hold her and kiss her nose and she flinches!

Mom: She flinches because she thinks you're going to eat her! 

H: Our kitty has flurr.  Fluffy fur.

On Birthdays:

Daisy: A birthday celebration is like a satanic ritual.  Everyone gets in a circle and surrounds an object that they just set on fire.  Then they chant some things and cut into the object.  (She found it on tumblr but wanted to make sure we all knew about this pseudo-factoid.)

Hedgehog: In China a birthday is the day of a mother's suffering.

Food: 

Hedgehog wanted to open the Indian Jaipur Vegetables from Trader Joes.  I pointed out there were still leftovers in the fridge.  She grumbled: "Just because you're willing the eat the same animal fodder day in and day out..."  I let her open the Indian food.  (Which was quite good-we'll be buying it again.)

I bought some energy bars for school and snacks.  Mica was perusing the selections and came upon the kale bar.  

Her response?: "A Kale Bar?!?  What kind of sadist comes up with an idea like that?!?!" 

Sunday Randomness #91: Continuing Inconsistencies in life

*Mica to new roommates on their first night around midnight in response to staying up and getting to know one another: "I'm old." And then she went promptly to bed.  (She was a sophomore and they were freshmen.)

     Me: We got cheated on our chicken noodle soup! (Upon the discovery of one lone noodle in the box of soup.)
     Hedgehog: No we didn't.  It's quite literal: chicken nooooodle  soup.
     (I should have noticed it was singular "noodle", not plural  "noodles".)

*  Remark at a restaurant that caused the rest of our table to erupt in laughter:  "We're all decapitated in one way or another."   (Since everyone knows that being decapitated is so close to being incapacitated. You just lose your head sometimes.)

     Response by daughter after I hung up their coat on the new coat rack after they threw it over a chair:  "Noooo, things aren't suppose to be used for their intended purpose!"

*Mica's opinion of Daisy's lackadaisical response to doing chores:"You're only a disappointment on odd days.  On other days you're just a pet peeve."

     How high mom rates on the list of importance:  "I gave you my junk e-mail address because my other e-mail address is for people I care about."

*"What!?!"  Reaction of daughter when finding out that the family stapler was also out of staples when they attempted to use it.  They had thought to use the family one instead of their own because they would have had to put in new staples.
This is also the same daughter that told me that: "If you notice your coca-cola supply going down (the case of glass bottles that are suppose to be for headaches), it's because we don't have any clean glasses and so there's nothing else to drink."

     Hedgehog: "I didn't remember to return your headphones because I was so enamored with them. They have such good sound and they block out the rest of you outside noise."

Sunday Randomness #90: More inconsistencies in life

• A few years ago Daisy was invited to a birthday party and we typically write notes to remind us of upcoming events.  The following conversation occurred: "Daisy, do you need to put a note on the mirror?"  "No, I remember things about parties."

Mica was going to go to see Nacho Libre with some friends and they were planning on having nachos .  She remarked it was going to be a cheesy affair in more ways than one.

A disgruntled Daisy to a jubilant Mica after playing a board game:  "I'm not a sore loser, it's just that you won."

At the beginning of the school year one of the girls got a water bottle with a smart code on the side and a statement that it was a bottle of knowledge.  They responded that it may have been a bottle of knowledge for most people but for them it was the bottle of ignorance because they didn't have a smart phone.

Our local library increased the number of items you can checkout.  When telling Mica about this she was all excited and asked if it was increasing to 100 items to which I responded no, only to 50 and she responded with a little "oh" of disappointment.  How many kids are upset that the library limit of 30 items has only been raised to 50 items?  (Side note-she typically has her card maxed out with the new maximum so maybe she really does need a 100 item limit!)

Sunday Randomness #89: Inconsistencies in Life

• In the winter/spring transition we went through an episode where everyone was sick. Cold, coughs, fevers, headaches, tiredness and/or a combination. One individual remarked, through a haze of fatigue, that we were all decapitated in one way or another. (This was at dinner time so everyone heard the comment.) After the laughter subsided, they back-pedaled and clarified they meant incapacitated.  It was too late, the words had been spoken and we took a vote.  In our virus-plagued condition we agreed that "decapitated" did indeed fit our plight.

Don't attempt to relate simple Bible stories that have similar aspects late at night: 

Person 1: The Lord commanded Moses to build an ark.  Moses built the ark and the animals came aboard.
  
Person 2: Moses?!? It's not Moses, it's Noah. 

Person 1: Oh good, you caught the mistake even though it was unintentional. 

Person 2 (attempting to give some sympathy so Person 1 doesn't feel so bad): It's okay, they both deal with large bodies of water. 

While working on some family history recently I heard more about the story behind the "wrong" date on an ancestor's birthday.  Grandma Zina was born at home and the birth wasn't recorded until the next day.  Hence she always celebrated her birthday one day ahead of the "official" day.  

Her daughter remembers a long argument between Zina and one of her sisters over the official date.  The sister finally responded that Zina could celebrate her birthday whenever she would like to do so, but it would not change the official date.  The sibling still pointed out that the official date was the one that would be used for family history (and legal) information even if it technically was wrong.  

On our personal family list we have had the earlier date in honor of Grandma's actual birthday even if it didn't/doesn't match any official documentation.  This year we included both dates and the story that goes with the inconsistency.